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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable moods, negative self-image, dangerous impulsivity, and tumultuous relationships. Many people with BPD excel in academics and careers while revealing erratic, self-destructive, and sometimes violent behavior only to those with whom they are intimate. Others have trouble simply holding down a job or staying in school.
Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is a compassionate and informative guide to understanding this profoundly unsettling--and widely misunderstood--mental illness, believed to affect approximately 6% of the general population. Rather than viewing people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, Valerie Porr cites cutting-edge science to show that BPD is a true neurobiological disorder and not, as many come to believe, a character flaw or the result of bad parenting. Porr then clearly and accessibly explains what BPD is, which therapies have proven effective, and how to rise above the weighty stigma associated with the disorder. Offering families and loved ones supportive guidance that both acknowledges the difficulties they face and shows how they can be overcome, Porr teaches empirically-supported and effective coping behaviors and interpersonal skills, such as new ways of talking about emotions, how to be aware of nonverbal communication, and validating difficult experiences. These skills are derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mentalization-based Therapy, two evidence-based treatments that have proven highly successful in reducing family conflict while increasing trust. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is an empowering and hopeful resource for those who wish to gain better understanding of the BPD experience--and to make use of these insights in day-to-day family interactions.
Winner of the ABCT Self Help Book Seal of Merit Award 2011
- Sales Rank: #81036 in Books
- Published on: 2010-08-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.20" h x 1.20" w x 9.25" l, 1.22 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 424 pages
Review
"Valerie Porr has championed the cause of people with borderline personality disorder for decades. Her understanding of the disorder and its effects on the individuals themselves and their families, partners, and friends is outstanding. This readable and informative book distils her years of experience and her first hand knowledge of how to help patients and families, providing the practical wisdom that comes only with a genuine understanding of what it is to be 'borderline'. This is required reading for anyone, from novice to expert, who seeks an understanding of borderline personality disorder and who wants practical guidance on what helps."
--Anthony Bateman, Consultant Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist, Barnet, Enfield, and Haringey Mental Health NHS Trust and Visiting Professor University College, London
"Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Porr is like water for a parched land. Few psychiatric disorders are as misunderstood as borderline personality disorder, a condition that can be profoundly disabling to patients and devastating to families. Opinions about what families should do are plentiful, but evidence-based guidance, derived from solid research, is rare. This is what this book delivers. It is an invaluable roadmap for families of patients with BPD."
--John Oldham, Chief of Staff, The Menninger Clinic
"An important book for family members of people with BPD."
--Larry Siever, Professor of Psychiatry, Mount Sinai School of Medicine
"She ably explains neuroscience as it applies here and emphasizes understanding, validation, and acceptance (not unconditional love)... An outstanding model of the psychoeducational approach, this volume bridges a daunting gap between laity and psychotherapists. Highly recommended for professionals as well as families of these patients." --Library Journal
About the Author
Valerie Porr, M.A, is a mental health educator and advocate trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and the founder and president of the Treatment and Research Advancements National Association for Personality Disorder (TARA NAPD). She conducts psycho-educational training seminars for family members of those with BPD in New York and elsewhere.
Most helpful customer reviews
80 of 83 people found the following review helpful.
One of Best Books I Have Read On the Topic
By Book Lover
I have been on a 6 year journey trying to understand and deal with these strange and mystifying behaviors in a family member, ultimately diagnosed as borderline personality disorder (BPD). This book is one of the best that I have ever read on the topic and it gave me new insights and understanding on the neurobiological system and symptoms. Time and time, Porr provides wonderful examples to help explain complex concepts. For example, Porr uses a wonderful analogy of nine colored balls that a juggler would toss into the air to describe each symptom:
#1 blue: impulse control dysregulation
#2 red: mood or affective dysregulation
#3 purple: sensitivity dysregulation
#4 green: cognitive dysregulation
#5 yellow: emotional processing dysregulation
#6 orange: sleep dysregulation
#7 black: pain dysregulation
#8 white: memory dysregulation
#9 pink: anxiety
Reading this book gave me "new eyes" and insights regarding the disorder. It helped me to feel more compassionate towards my family member and learn new ways to communicate and interact. At the same time, Porr emphasized that the person with BPD too needs to do the work to learn coping skills and minimize stressors.
After reading segments of this book, my husband who had thought the family member was misbehaving on purpose, changed his mind after reading Porr's description of the neurobiological underpinnings of the disorder (pp. 40-75)and he also became much more compassionate and understanding. That was a major breathrough!
Porr discusses various treatment methods including dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and mentalization. I greatly appreciate her perspective and empathy for the families who are going through this with their loved ones. She really "gets it" because she herself has a loved one with BPD.
54 of 55 people found the following review helpful.
The BEST book about BPD on the market!!
By YSB
Our young adult daughter has BPD, a devastating condition (as you know if you are reading this review), not only for her but for our entire family. Over the past 14 years, we have experienced many wrong diagnoses; countless trials with medications that did little to relieve her symptoms and in many cases made things much worse; and, perhaps most important, made us all feel that we were resigned to a life of pain and suffering. For the first time in 14 years, we have hope. I can't tell you how good it feels.
It is alarming to us how little the psychiatric community knows of BPD. The psychiatrists we've worked with only want to prescribe drugs, and none of the psychologists we've known have been DBT-certified. Consequently, we've gotten advice like "set limits and boundaries" or "have her sign a contract with you" or "keep her in the hospital for a few more days - the drugs will work." If you have any experience with a loved one in your family who has BPD, then you know those approaches do not work. In fact, they make things worse.
Valerie Porr's book humanizes the condition. She places us in our daughter's shoes, experiencing life with a defective amygdala and pre-frontal cortex. She introduces the concept that if my mate and I learn DBT theory and skills, we will slowly be able to teach our daughter the same behaviors so that she can live a successful, independent life.
Thank you, Valerie Porr, for writing the best book on the market about BPD! And to our fellow Amazon readers: save yourself a lot of time, money, and grief. Read this book first. It is filled with good, solid information that will help your loved one and your family. You won't regret it.
59 of 61 people found the following review helpful.
Buying us all another chance
By AvidReader
If you're looking for a first book on Borderline Personality Disorder, choose this one: it is grounded in the latest biological research, decades of on-the-ground experience, and a detailed prescription for action. Both great context and great application. If you've read any other books on BPD, then you're obliged to read this one, and quickly: it provides real science and context and -- most importantly -- offers an action plan that works with, rather than against, the illness. Most of my research has led me to angst and despair; Valerie Porr's book has given me new hope by enabling me to understand, encouraging me to accept, and equipping me to act.
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